[i] LoveLife

Cousintime!

Light on posting today because we have special company from the West! Yay for aunts, uncles, and newfound love between small people.

The shrieks of joy are deafening. Seriously.

Well said.

[Sigh.] My favourite Seth Godin quote.

As 2010 closes...

Seemed like a good time for some keeping-up... I DID manage to get a belly shot this afternoon. See above. I started out thinking I would be artsy and ended with a rushed non-artsy bathroom mirror picture. Belly shot nonetheless. That's Baby3 at about 36 weeks.

2010 UPDATES:

Baby3. Dude. So far you are by far the easiest of my three pregnancies. I love that about you. 26 days to go. Your room is ready. Your sisters are SO PUMPED to meet you. Your dad will come around when you get here, trust me. I am SO excited. Seems it takes me a couple of tries at things to settle in. I'm feeling really good about life and what I understand will happen next. I know more now. And I know enough to know that you will throw me some painful curve balls and challenges... and I know that we will get through them and love you as crazily as we love the other two. I'm ready.

Penn. Lady. You rock. You are changing so much every day. Especially in the last two weeks. FULL SENTENCES. PERFECT WORDS. WHAT? Where did that come from? You are sweet + funny. You are 23 months. You are sleeping the best you have ever slept (thank you for that). You love to dress up. You love polar bears + tigers. You love dancing. You love parties. You LOVE playing games on your iPod Touch. You're a rockstar at Memory. You love snow. You love movies. You love pizza. And we, my sweet - LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

Pilot. Buddy. You are radical. You are so smart that I can't keep up. You know the words to every Christmas carol ever written. You love to be busy. You love crafting, painting and drawing. You're actually drawing THINGS. It's WAY cool. Cooler than I knew. Your imagination is through the roof and I love your power of pretend. I love that you are all about rules. I love that you understand comedy. I love that you are not afraid to be loud. I love that you have the gift of conversation and pull out random compliments that just melt me. "Oh, I like you're hair today, Mama." "You're a good cooker, Mama," Your birthday + Christmas were delightful because you shrieked with excitement at every gift and still seemed to understand what it was all about.

Dan. Love. You are ALMOST predictable in your unpredictability. I mean that. I am getting better everyday at reading your state-of-union by what books you are reading in your spare time. And MAN YOU ARE READING LOTS OF BOOKS. You made a leap for us - by finding and pursuing house90 and I am so grateful for your vision. You made a leap for us - by switching jobs and I think that it will pay you huge dividends in the end. You make my heart leap every day - by the way you ferociously love those two little girls and I can still say that after 4 years leaping into this life with you was our best idea yet. So excited for your big birthday in a few weeks.

Crash. Man. You are getting grey. I mistake the grey for oldness, but when I see you outside ripping up the tobogganing hills and looking lean and mean - I see your puppy heart. We have been through a lot in our 7.5 years together and I am so glad you are still here. I'm not gonna lie - YOU GET STINKIER by the day and you are STILL slobbering on my walls. But, I love you.

Norman. Oy. You will be two years old in a couple of months. You act like you're an old dog (until someone pulls out a laser pointer). You have turned out to be a pretty great little dog. You're calm. You're sweet. You've stopped peeing on things. You are a much better listener now. Wow, you're SO good with the girls. You're a bit of a prick to Crash sometimes, but for some reason he doesn't seem to mind. You are a TOUGH S.O.B. - remember when you took on two raccoons yourself? That's hardcore. You fit in here just fine. We love ya.

House90. Home. It started out far, far from where it is now and where it is now is far from where I want it to be... but it has been a good experience. Renovations are tricky. Old houses are challenging. The hard parts have been far outweighed by the goodness of our space, location and neighbours. Roots. House90 - you have given us roots, and family dinners, and visitors, and breathing space. Way cool.

Me. Oh, my. I am getting older. This was a good year for me because I fell in love with pilates on the reformer and my long hair grew back. Neither of those points might seem very important, but are pretty huge in finding myself again. REBUILDING. RESTORING. I didn't 'work' as much as I like this year, but I did manage to make house90 a really good fit for us, create some nice art, write a couple online courses and cart little ones from province to province while growing a new person. Oh, and I only bought one new pair of jeans in 2010 - which was a REGRETTABLE moment of weakness and I do not care for them. Hey - I'm a work in progress.

Blog. Wow. Thank you. It's been 4 years and four million times a learning experience in the goodness of mankind + the internet. Blog readers are good people. I have felt supported and connected and documented and validated and motivated and full of gratitude. Thank you, blog.

2010. You have been overly generous with us and I appreciate that. I am humbled. Some parts of this year seemed frustrating and uncomfortable. But, those moments were mostly in the renovating + moving process. Many more parts of this year were filled with the goodness of friends and relatives as we did lots of visiting and travelling. We sold and bought a house. Moved. Travelled. Worked. Rested. Played. Dan and I got to reconnect in Kauai and Whistler. The girls spent plenty of really awesome bonding time with their grandparents and aunts and uncles. 2010 was a big reminder that life is what happens when you're making other plans... The good stuff wouldn't have been possible without the uncomfortable parts... so, hey 2010 - it all works out in the end.

2011.You haven't started yet, but I have big + simple plans based on what I learned in 2010... Moments, laughter, hugs. More picnics. More ice cream. More tea parties. MORE PAINTING. Much, much more goodness.

I really love life. GO!

I woke up this morning and realized that a YEAR is a LONG time. SO long. And in the same breath - it is barely a blink. In January 2010 I got an iPhone which was like a giant leap for me because I had never owned or operated a cell phone before. Now while I can't say that I'm all that savvy or connected with it - I can say that it has changed my life in ONE BIG WAY. Photos-ON-HAND. The photos + videos are crap most of the time but the magic is wholeheartedly in having them with you and in one place and all that jazz. I took time yesterday to to a grand backup of our year in iPhone photos and I'm not even going to pretend that I didn't bawl my eyes out for at least an hour. SO MUCH. SO many. So full. The iPhone photos really made me remember the EVERY DAYS. The good stuff. The real stuff. The bread + butter. Things like Penn growing from a baby to a girl to finding a space to make a home to travelling to changing direction in just about every way possible.

Except for one.

Living.

Today: I'm making good progress on my paintings and the girls are soaking up their DAD-time so I figure it's win-win-win-win. And then some. I have some errands and some planning and some plan-hatching and some belly rubbing and some good old-fashioned ONLINE SHOPPING to do. (I can't get enough sequins or sparkle.) I WILL TRY TO GET SOME BELLY SHOTS TODAY, too... it's pretty enormous!

Big announcement on January 1. GO!

Snap!

Wow. And there it goes. Christmas and all of the preparations and lists and decorations and meal ideas and perfect gifts and.... over in a blink. We had an action-packed couple of days around here and as much as I tried to savour it - it still goes. Just like that. The company is gone. The boxes are recycled. The gifts are put into their new homes as if they were always here. BUT. I think I can still hear the sounds of the girls loving their time with Uncle Kam. I can still see Dan's happy face when he kicked our butts at Trivial Pursuit. I know I can still taste the yummy Christmas meal with so many special guests. I even remember tearing up during a mini pre-dinner speech honouring the people not with us for such a special dinner...

And just like that. It goes. Tradition's cycle. Thank you house90 for making it possible to hold so much goodness. Thank you relatives + friends. Thank you Dan for letting me worry about all the stuff that was totally not worth worrying about in the first place. Thank you Mom for smelling up my house with your delicious cooking. Thank you Kam. Thank you Dad. Thank you Tammy. Thank you Tamara. Thank you Norman + Crash for being well-behaved mutts. Thank you Pilot + Penn for being the more radical kids I have ever met.

Thank you everyone. It was awesome. Happy holidays.

Today: I want to work. Dan is on holidays this week and I intend to take advantage of that to finish T+A original art pieces and finish the content for Nurture Your Creativity + Be Bulletproof the online class PART 2. I will be offering PART1 again in the next couple of weeks. Being sick for the last couple weeks WAS A TOTAL BUZZ KILL and I'm OVER IT. See ya later sickness. I always, always, always feel a renewed sense of energy and vigor in the last days of the year. I have new years resolutions to decide on. Some birthday parties to plan. A new person to meet (27 days and counting). I have a whole lot of painting on my brain for 2011 because JUST LIKE THAT a new year is here.

GO!

!!

The very best part of getting sick IS FEELING BETTER. I walked to the corner store last night and it was quite possibly the most beautiful evening I have noticed all season. Which leads me to believe that I am mending. Mended.The magic was all around me. My coat was undone, my furry hood was up and my fingers were toasty warm in my knitted mittens. And there were snowflakes.

It was awesome. I also took some time to play with Norman - and it was awesome, too.

SO I MUST BE FEELING BETTER.

Thank goodness. And thank you for all the nice notes and gifts and well-wishes. Let the holidays begin!

Today: My girl tribe and I are going to attempt to clean the floors and then just rock out and enjoy our hard work until my folks get here. We're going to make another three batches of nuts + bolts BEFORE we mop and the rest of the day is up to holiday magic.

GO!

The best laid plans...

Thank you for all the heartburn help. I appreciate the suggestions and I am going to give them a whirl and report back. I am not gonna lie, eating sweet papaya is a whole lot more enticing than drinking a baking soda cocktail with a side of apple cider vinegar - but if it works I am ON BOARD.

Yesterday was a BAD-MOM day. I'm going to try to go easy on myself because I am feeling a little over-cooked on all side and angles. I certainly wasn't going easy on anyone else... definitely not Norman who insisted on rummaging in the recycling every five minutes or Penn who found the need to defiantly look me in the eye as did every single thing on the DO-NOT-DO lists. Even Pilot was breaking down loudly and randomly. The whole day boiled down to destruction, no naps, slow holiday errands and pushing buttons. And yelling. :( I'm not typically known to yell. But, I very much understand that it becomes a last resort when I feel desperate... I added these notes to the girls Hello Baby books last night.

Dear Pilot,
Dude. Of course I forgive you and love you. You shouldn't have to ask me that - it should be me asking you. Mama is sorry. Sorry for the yelling. Sorry for the lack of patience. Sorry for not taking into consideration that you are a curious bird and if you weren't - half your magic would be missing. I am not proud. I am not certain I will never yell again, but I know without a shred of doubt that those who have the biggest share of my heart - deserve more patience + love. For even when my patience is thin... my love is thick and truly.

Dear Penn,
Lady. You don't need to test me. I'm watching you. And I hope that you were not watching me because you might think getting mad and losing your mind is the answer. Oh, wait - YOU ALREADY DO. Sorry. You might get that from me and for that I apologize. In fact, I apologize for the way I acted . Sorry for the yelling. Sorry for the lack of patience. Sorry for not taking into consideration that you are a headstrong little mynx and if you weren't - half your magic would be missing. I am not proud. I am not certain I will never yell again, but I know without a shred of doubt that those who have the biggest share of my heart - deserve more patience + love. For even when my patience is thin... my love is thick and truly.

Today: sucks because it's our nanny's last day before she heads out to other life adventures. We are going to miss her like crazy. She's one-of-a-kind and although the girls are probably too young to remember her - she had an amazing hand in shaping their minds. Thank you Teri-Lynn. Me, I'm gonna haul ass for one more day and then let the year end as sweetly as possible. Screw the TO-DO lists. Screw the holiday gifts. Screw the stupid Martha-Stewart-ish notions that dinner is best served on plates and with napkins. OVERRATED.

Let's holiday. GO!

That kind of magic...

FOUR DAYS + COUNTING. Yesterday started early and led to all kinds of craziness.

The what-not-to-do... Penn got her wee little tongue stuck to the frozen railing outside out house. OUCH. Result: PANIC, blood, screaming, tears and sniffling for the rest of the day. Rightfully so because THAT HURTS. Our nanny was a true pro and handled things like a star. The bleeding stopped. The jacket came clean. The little girl started to eat again and all will be fine. Lesson learned for Penn - I HOPE. It's sort of a right of passage in this climate. While this was going on - I was battling holiday shoppers and checking little things off my TO-DO lists including a 40 minute wait at the grocery store and so many things 'not-in-stock' that my plans (and my blood pressure) all started to change drastically. And I STILL came home without peanut butter. ARgh.

The what-to-do... it was actually smoother than it sounds. I hit lucky open spots in PREGNANT-LADY parking AT EVERY STORE.SCORE! Which I took full of advantage of and may even admit to walking with a bit of a gloat in my waddle. ;) Oh, yeah. And while I was doing that - our sweetest-nanny-in-the-whole-world cleaned up the slobber-covered walls and floors of the dog's room for me as a much, much, much appreciated gift. SO MUCH APPRECIATED (thank you Teri-Lynn!). I paid-it-forward in the Tim Horton's drive-thru and paid for the woman's coffee behind me. I found a bunch of different ways to repurpose things I already have and totally score a deal on an open drapery panel because I FINALLY HAD THE GUTS TO ASK FOR A DISCOUNT. Sweet 50% off! I also found the general attitude out-and-about to be cheerful. It was contagious.

I'm still WAY behind schedule and my TO-DO lists are sort of just sitting in IDLE... but, I can only get done what I can get done and I'm gonna have a handful of TUMS and keep reminding myself that my family should be SO DARN HAPPY to spend the holidays together that sharing a bag of potato chips on paper plates WON'T EVEN PHASE THEM. (Right Mom????)

Today: The girls and I are going to hang with our favourite Olympic athlete and cross our fingers that some of our craft supplies come in the mail so we have more creative outlets in the afternoon than scrubbing toilets and folding laundry. Can someone recommend a natural remedy for heartburn?

GO!

I like.

I like Starbuck's red cups.
I like Starbuck's steamed apple juice with Tazo chai (thank you awesome aunty Tamara!). Yum!
I like antacids that take heartburn and punch it in the groin.
I like things that sparkle.
I like good news.
I like feeling appreciated.
I like making lists.
I like clean sheets.
I like freshly bathed small people.
I LOVE awesome aunty Tamara and her hair styling wizardry (again thank you aunty T).
I like finding the perfect gift.
I like wrapping presents.
I like researching things.
I like online shopping.
I like my husband most of the time.
I like working dishwashers.
I LOVE neighbours that show up with platters of amazing baking (thank you Bonnie!)
I like blogging because it keeps me connected.
I like new towels that are white + soft.
I like knowing that I will soon be able to put my boots on without barfing into my own mouth.
I like that my family is coming in a few days (and I am still hoping to TWIST MY GRANDPARENTS ARMS to join them.
I like hot showers.
I like naps.
I like an organized INBOX.

I don't like running out of time or feeling like I let people down... which happens more than I'm cool with lately. Booo.

Today: I still feel like I got hit by a bus. But, I think I could downgrade it to a SMALLER BUS than it was for the past couple weeks and get on with it. There's stuff to do! There's a party to plan! There's 2010 to usher out. There's Christmas caroles to make into iPod play lists and bathrooms to clean and furniture to rearrange and paintings to finish and heartburn to thwart. Hello last week before Christmas - let's do this.

GO!

Cookies + resting.

Hi Friday. I thought by today I'd be full of piss + vingear + candy canes. I very much thought I would be back at it like an art ninja wth a nanny. But, I am still feeling like super poop. Nauseas, shaky, achy, hurting reindeer poop. Yesterday brought tears to my eyes on account of finding a treat bag FULL OF DELICIOUS SUGAR COOKIES ready to be decorated hanging at the front door. Thank you Claudine Gervais. That was so nice I started crying and totally stressed out the girls (who can't wait to start decorating!). Speaking of the girls - they looked at me through squinty, suspicious eyes as we layed on the couch and watched every Curious George episode known to man and they bolted upstairs squealing in fear when I told the gritty (but successful) dishwasher repair man I LOVED HIM MORE AWESOME THAN SANTA.

(I think December is trying to patch things up with me!)

Today: I'm going to try sleep it off. Thank you SO MUCH for the well wishes and the cookies and the thoughts. I OWE YOU.

GO!