[i] LoveLife

Peeks + valleys.

Magic. I have come to adore these two little paintings. They mean important things to me. I'd like to say I've been thinking about them all my life and finally got them onto canvas. But that would be a lie. They're just mixing + brush exercises that turned pretty. And rhythmic. And calming. And like eating chocolate and drinking red wine... only not. And they are very much something I adore right now. I called them Baby Bokeh because bokeh in its most basic form is simply 'blurred light'. Which is just a fancy way of saying 'magic'.

Which is sometimes pronounced 'hope'.

So they are very dear to me.

This pair is 8x8 inches on gallery canvas that is an inch and three-quarters thick. Acrylic paint. They are just me trying to work on my greens. I only use primary colours and mix my palette from scratch. Green is not really on my radar. It's not my comfort zone. But, I'm getting better. The brushes (in the top photo) are just one of 24 jars filled with a collection of my favourites... I really like brushes. I like to collect things. I especially like the brushes that get ratty + old + worn - because that means they have been living. Sometimes I take them out to the sidewalk to rough them up before using them with paint. The wooden handle brushes are kids brushes and they are my favourites. And yes, the pig hairs fall out ALL THE TIME and if you've ever seen one of my originals up close - you'll find plenty of brush hairs embedded. Proof I was there, I say. ;)

These little paintings may or may not show up in my shop next week. I'm back and forth on it. I've challenged myself to FILL our house with art. Normally I sell things quickly, but right now - I want to see the walls of this dear house filled up with miles of canvas + print. It's kind of an overwhelming need that I can't explain. Dan is going to hate this idea because he is a huge fan of selling things when the paint is still wet. But, I am going to lay in a long, hot bath in the midst of the things made by my own hands.

They are so very dear to me.

(The Bokeh collection has a growing number of pieces... big + small.)

Today: Painting. Oh, I love painting. I'm finding better days spending more time offline - popping in with random peeks of what's happening. So much will to paint. It's goodness. And I am grateful.

GO!

Keepin' on.

This is by far the strangest year I have ever lived. I don't really know what else to say... I want my hands back. BOO 2012, you nasty bastard. But YAY 2012 for helping me sort out what's important. Things like listening to your body, trusting your instincts, fighting for what you love, stepping back and keepin' on.

I think that 2012 will turn out to be a golden egg.

Top photo by Pilot.

Today: I am gazing at the stack of HUMUNGOUS canvasses I bought yesterday + listening for their stories.

GO!

All thanks to David Guetta.

It's SO RANDOM, but when my RDIO channel started playing David Guetta's new album I had no idea it was going to change my day - maybe my month. BUT WHAT I DID NOTICE was that I started to move. And before I knew it - I was dancing. Actually before I knew it I was painting AND I was dancing. I couldn't stop myself. And pretty soon the volume was loud and my sunny studio could have easily been mistaken for a club. (Except it was really sunny and there was art supplies instead of liquor.) All thanks to David Guetta. All thanks to music. All thanks to movement. All thanks to memories. All thanks to randomness. All thanks to powerfulness. All thanks to this unexpected reminder that I don't go down without fighting. I will win.

The wee glimmers of hope I found this week manifested themselves on some tiny canvasses like the little bokeh firewoks I can see in my brain when I think about kicking 2012 in the junk and moving on.

All thanks to David Guetta. ;)

On a serious note: There was a little oopsy-daisy last week with a graphic of mine and Danni Hong at Oh, Hello Friend handled it in a top notch way. If there is ever an oopsy-daisy in life - she is a good example of how to make it into something not-so-bad. You can read about it here.

Today: is such a toss!! I should drive to the US to mail things, but all I want to do is paint. And let's be honest - I'd kinda like to recreate the dance party energy around here so that the stuff I see in my head finds a way out and I can get another step closer to taking back 2012.

Happy weekending. GO!

In my heart.

It only takes one good day every now and again to remind me that hope surrounds us. From the buds fighting to become leaves to the new signs of life after a long winter... The past couple of months have challenged me. I've had good days and bad days. I've had days when I felt heard and days when I felt broken. Days when I felt understood and days when I felt loneliness. I've had long nights and many tears. I've had days when I wanted to fight like the mighty and days when I had no fight left. I've had days. I've had those days.

But, my heart is full of hope.

I'm changing things around here. The balance of life, art, and internet. Less internet. More art. I don't need an internet signal to make paintings and I am a maker of paintings. I have a tower of canvasses with post-it notes to remind me of the stories they are waiting for. I have lots of painting within me. I have lots of emotion to get onto boards so that I can bid them adieu.

And my heart is full of hope.

Today: my girl tribe is off to play.

GO!

The colour of Hope.

I painted yesterday in the colour of Hope.
I found that Frida quote in an old sketch book.
Facebook bought Instagram.
It snowed.

Today: I need one part fierce, one part soft and one part lucky.

GO!

I welcome you.

I believe in magic. Whole-heartedly. The glittery kind like pixie-dust and the spooky kinds like deja vu and spirits. And unicorns. And centaurs. And easter bunnies. And 'feelings' and wishes and hunches and all of that stuff. AND THEY ARE WELCOME HERE. I believe in 'signs'... and I'm watching for them. And some might say I should have my eyes on the road instead in the clouds... but by now I have learned to listen to the rhythms that move me.

The weekend was a pretty awesome display of just how much others believe in magic, too. There was no shortage of folks helping us to make Easter morning an bunny show. Our families made sure that the girls were spoiled with the sweetness of the holiday... Eggs, chocolates, crafts, pretty baskets, fairy dust... the whole bit. A small village of adults encouraging our small people to believe in magic. Easter might not be about bunnies - but it most certainly IS about sharing the belief that there is magic is among us.

Magical creatures are welcome here.

I've been out of commission for most of this year so far... but I've been seeing the signs and I think that progress is around the corner. The weekend was hard on my anti-inflammation diet (and newfound allergy eliminations). I was surrounded by the memories + favourites in food form. I cheated a wee bit AND I PAID FOR IT in ways that were strangely validating. Which is weird, but kind of magical because it can only mean that I have to be on the right track.

Magical creatures are welcome here. (And so are the people we love.)

Today: paint, paint, paint. Let there be magic...

GO!

Love is...

Love is better than anger. This has a lot of meaning for me this week as it is the theme for a painting I'm working on and also the theme for some of the other things that are happening in my life. It is very hard to see the people that use my work without permission (that's putting it as nicely as I can) through the eyes of love. But, I am working on it. I have a few techniques (allbethemstrange) that I like to use to 'lighten my heart'.

I'm using them in full force today because truly, truly love is better than anger - and it's nearly the weekend.

Today: I'm getting the stuff we need to have a jolly Easter weekend with my family (who are making a long, long drive to spend time with us. I'm going to attempt a turkey... and hopefully it will be my GREAT TURN AROUND because my experimenting with gluten free, dairy free, egg free, sugar free baking HAS BEEN THE FLOP OF THE CENTURY!

GO!

Instagram lovin'.

Instagram is my absolute favourite way to share. It's photos. It's immediate. It's easy. You can follow your favourite folks to get a glimpse into their images. There's no downloading or uploading or media cards or complicated editting or any of that jazz. Life happens - you photogaph it - and 'BAM' - you can share. I like that. I love that my family can keep up with my girls and the girls can keep up with our family. My brother has a new puppy that we are watching grow. They are tracking how fast their cousins are growing. Norman + Frank are crowd pleasers. There's decor to share and all kinds of goodness to be had. It's like tiny pieces of chocolate in moment-form. Spontaneous gems (like Poet in the bunny ears above) that get documented and shared. It's the slivers of life as it happens (and probably as close as I'll ever get at being good at documenting it).

JUST SO HAPPENS that Android users can play, too! Really cool. Follow me on Instagram to see how life really shakes down in these parts. The next month is full of paintings-in-progress - see peeks of those as they come together.

My personal favourites are the Instagram books at Blurb. (I've got 6 of them now) and the Instagram canvasses at CanvasPop.

NOTE: I don't love that third party apps make personal photos pinnable... GREAT ARTICLE HERE. Not really cool or nice so please think twice before pinning someone's personal photos.

POSTSCRIPT: I'm not being paid to write these nice words. I genuinely enjoy these things (thanks Awesome Tamara for convincing me to give it a try!)

If you want to see what goes in here - go on and follow me. I'm kalbarteski.

Today: is a girl tribe day and I'm going to get silly and throw in an important conference call that means I need to time a school pick-up, lunch, naps for Poet and a quiet-time activity for the big P's DOWN TO THE MILLISECOND. Should be stressful, but could be awesome. The rest of the day we are going to wander the nieghbourhood 'counting buds' and getting inspired for spring.

GO!

Layering.

The top five images combine to make the bottom version + THAT is a metaphor for life, right? The layers upon layers of time + experiences that build to show the beauty of who we are... Standing on the shoulders of giants? I like that idea. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it when it's easy + neatly layed out on my Photoshop screen and I am humbled when it is the sometimes messy stuff that is tricky to figure out in real life.

That's the beauty sometimes, I guess. (AND - who doesn't love a moody ampersand + modern typeface. This image reminds me of fierce Spanish dancers.)

I did not do well without pain meds yesterday. It was only 10am when I realized I had yelled at every single person in the house (including Poet), felt the urger to barf, was paralyzed by the decision between textured pattern or regular new white bath towels and started to cry when I put it all together :( Not a great start to the week, but I think it's just awesome in disguise. I will do better today

Today: I'm going to do some serious efforts into journalling + painting in between meetings. It will be a fabulous new day full of glorious layers. OR it will be another junker. Either way - BRING IT ON.

GO!

I will.

Okay Monday. I am on an intense countdown. PAINFREEBYMAY. It's not an option anymore. I took the weekend to regroup - to have a glass of wine (which I seriously enjoyed) and to relax and enjoy a few too many pieces of my allergen-free puffed rice cake. I knew I shouldn't have... but I felt like I needed a reward. AND WAS I REWARDED. Now I can tell you in great detail what happens to your insides if you take NSAIDs (or over-the-counter anti-inflammatory drugs like Advil in my case) everyday for 99 days. Oy.

SO, I WILL DO BETTER. I'm close to figuring this out and following my guts (ha ha) when it comes to finding a solution that is better for me than simply taking drugs to alleviate symptoms. I'm completely off advil and am going to try to ride out a few weeks without pain meds so that I can stay on top of what my body is telling me. I can tell you that this body is PISSED OFF.

SO, I WILL DO BETTER. I'm smoothing my schedule. I was up to 3 chiropractor, 3 physio, and one doctor appointment a week - mixed with a complicated diet, little people, work and upcoming projects -THAT IS TOO MUCH. It's plain too much. So, I'm cutting back to the pieces that make me feel good. The little people. The diet. The physio. The projects. I have been painting and THAT makes me feel pretty great because I'm lost in creating INSTEAD OF OBSESSING over pain.

SO, I WILL DO BETTER.

And I will be PAINFREEBYMAY.

How can you DO BETTER?

Today: LIGHTENED schedules mean more painting. Do better. There are some nice people coming to look at a few of my older (and newer pieces) to see if it's the right fit for their home. It's going to be great because it's a Monday of a short week.

GO!