If you have four extra minutes here is a little peek at some of the things I have been working on. I know the blog seems quiet... but it's really just because life is very loud + bustling. This video was shot by the VERY KIND Kim Babij and Jeff Bromely over the summer. It was almost forty degrees (Celsius) in my studio that day and WE WERE MELTING.
I had a few big decisions to make last week that required me to be BRAVE + BRILLIANT. I wrote it on my arm because I NEEDED THE REMINDER. I'm not really sure that I succeeded, but a domino-effect occurred and the first week of school threw us enough curve balls that every single person in our hoursehold needed an extra reminder to BE BRAVE + BE BRILLIANT.
Because we are made for it. We just need a little reminder.
I have spent much of the past year realizing that I am who I am. I ALWAYS WAS. I've spent thirty-odd years as an artist. Twenty of those as a professional. I've tried all kinds of schools, styles + beliefs. I've experiemented with who I THOUGHT I should be + I've pined over who I wanted to be. I've sorted through the guilt of being who I am. And this year has brought it around in a circle...
Which is so cool. And so extremely LIFE.
I started out as a little girl who sat on the floor in her bedroom to draw and paint. I liked myself. I taught myself. I painted wildlife because I love animals. I painted letters because words are magic. I was a loner, but never lonely. I listened to odd music. I never listened to doubts. I talked to animals and they talked back to me in paint. I liked silence. I painted in black + white... because that's where I feel loved. I never felt guilty for picking painting over everything else. I never felt I had to "keep up". I did what I did. I was the person who spoke her feelings and got in trouble. I was not okay with things that were not okay. I preferred kindness over popularity. I never censored myself, but I never hid things either. I was bulletproof - not because I was immune to hurt... because I was extra susceptible.
Fast forward. Life does wonderful work. You learn. You grow. You take risks. You lose a bit of yourself. You find who matters. You stick with the people that lift you up. And you become yourself. All over again.
I am a woman who sits on the floor
in my studio to draw and paint. I like myself. I teach myself. I DRINK TOO MUCH COFFEE. I
paint wildlife because I love animals. I paint letters because words
are magical and BEAUTIFUL. I am a loner, but never lonely. I listen to odd music. I
never listen to doubts. I talk to animals and they talk back to me
in paint. And in dreams. And in photos... I like silence. I paint in black + white because that's
where I feel happy. I rarely feel guilty for picking painting over
everything else. I try not to feel like I have to "keep up". I do what I do and I don't feel like I need to apologize for that. I drink wine. I am the person who speaks her feelings and gets flack for it. You always know where you stand with me. I am not okay
with things that are not okay. I prefer kindness over popularity. I
never censor myself, but I never hide things either. I am bulletproof because I am easy to wound.
And, man I love life.
The work that I've been doing lately - with the script and the bears has made it achingly + awesomely obvious that I am who I am. I always was. I journeyed in a circle.
Maybe that little girl sitting on the floor of her bedroom knew something all along. ;)
Cheers! I took my computer to Apple on Friday because of a few strange blips. I had been meaning to do it for weeks, but I finally bit the bullet. Turns out - there were a ton of repairs/replacements that were needed. In fact, $1200 worth.
The Genius asked me if I had Apple Care. I couldn't remember. I couldn't even remember the month I bought the computer three years ago.
Turns out, I DID have Apple Care. And it expired THAT day. Free fix!
I'm still kind of glowing about that (grateful heart!!) although my machine is in the repair shop for another few days. I'm going to take advantage of my tech-less studio to just paint. Just paint. Usually I have a couple of projects going on at the same time. I paint and scan and do prepress and sketches for new projects and attempt to do social media and blah and blah and blah... I try to be efficient and productive in more than one area and I feel guilty when I am not.
Summer has been busy + fun. I guess that's what happens with three small people in your life. It has been, at times, a little overwhelming. And at other times, pure joy. It's a flip flop mashup. My girl tribe (pictured above in this rad iphone photo by Dan) is really awesome. Better by the day. At one point we were singing The Cup Song together and one of the little voices became an accidental harmony AND I NEARLY DIED OF HAPPINESS. As a sisterless mom - I was really struck by this glimpse of JUST HOW AWESOME my Girl Tribe can be.
This is fun. This is really good.
This is also the last week before school starts and in my mind the beginning of the year will always be SEPTEMBER. Routine comes back. Fall weather drops in and hold onto your horses, folks.
*Unstyled: I love this photo, but the pink towel and the red pool stripe make me crazy. And Poet's favourite bathing suit that is no where near as cute as the black and white striped one I bought her. And the garbage can that I am standing 2 feet from. HOWEVER, it's real. So there it is.
Today: my poor desktop computer is going in for service and so my fingers are crossed and my faith is in the Universe. It's Friday! I MAY be having a cocktail for lunch. Happy summer!
Thank you. Thank you for the emails and the messages and all of the kind words about my TEDx talk. I read every word + I appreciated every letter. What they don't show you on the video was that at the end - people stood, but I didn't see it because I was so pumped about getting through the words that I fist pumped and ran. They called me back out to see the standing ovation and I started to sob.
I was overwhelmed with gratitude. I still am. Thank you.
Today: is the first day of a new year for me and I plan to make it AMAZING. Carpe-diem-style. The YOLO.
I was a little bit worried this day would never come and that maybe I had dreamed the whole thing. Finally, the link is ready to watch my TEDx talk! OHmygosh. Two months later, I wish I had one more shot to fix the little things... but the truth is that I gave it all I had. I left it all on the stage and in a bit of a mess.
It's far from perfect.
But it's always going to be one of the things in my life that I never thought I'd be able to do.
If you have 18 extra minutes, I'd love it if you would watch it.